Jokes.Net: Time for a Laugh
Sayings, Superstitions and Quotes
- "I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year." - Charles Dickens.
- "I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men! -
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
- "He who has no Christmas in his heart will never find Christmas under a tree." - Sunshine Magazine.
- "Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year" - John Lennon and Yoko Ono (Christmas 1971).
- "You might as well do your Christmas hinting early." - Anon.
- "No Santa Claus! Thank God, he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood." - Francis P. Church
- A three-year-old gave this reaction to her Christmas dinner. "I don't like the turkey, but I like the bread he ate."
- Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy shoud get something "practical" for Christmas. "Suppose we open a savings account for you?" mother suggested. Cathy was delighted.
"It's your account, darling," mother said as they arrived at the bank, "so you fill out the application."
Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for "Name of your former bank." After a slight hesitation, she put down "Piggy."
- For many of us, sadly, the spirit of Christmas is "hurry". And yet, eventually, the hour comes when the rushing ends and the race against the calendar mercifully comes to a close. It is only now perhaps that we truly recognize the spirit of Christmas. It is not a matter of days or weeks, but of centuries-nearly twenty of them now since that holy night in Bethlehem. Regarded in this manner, the pre-Christmas rush may do us greater service than we realize. With all its temporal confusion, it may just help us to see that by contrast, Christmas itself is eternal. - Burton Hills
- There was the little boy who approached Santa in a department store with a long list of requests. He wanted a bicycle and a sled, a chemical set, a cowboy suit, a set of trains, a baseball glove and roller skates.
"That's a pretty long list," Santa said sternly. "I'll have to check in my book and see if you were a good boy."
"No, no," the youngster said quickly. "Never Mind checking. I'll just take the roller skates."
- "'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring-not even a mouse:
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. - Clement C. Moore
- At Christmas play and make good cheer,
For Christmas comes but once a year. - from "A Hundred Points of Good Husbandry", 1557
- Let the children have their night of fun and laughter, let the gifts of Father Christmas delight their play. Let us grown-ups share to the full in their unstinted pleasures.... Sir Winston Churchill 1874-1965
- BIRON. At Christmas I no more desire a rose
Than wish a snow in May's newfangled mirth;
But life of each thing that in season grows.
- William Shakespeare Love's Labour's Lost 1:1
- I have often thought, says Sir Roger, it happens very well that Christmas should fall in the Middle of winter.
- Joseph Addison 1672-1719
Christmas Quotes, Sayings and Superstitions page 3
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